I am very pleased with how well I did in terms of reading last year. 68 books is more than I’ve probably read in the last five years combined, at least. (I would say last ten years, but maybe that’s an exaggeration. Or maybe it’s not. 2024 I was pretty ecstatic when I barely managed 20 books, and the years before that I feel like were closer to 10 each year. Maybe fewer than that.) Regardless, 68 is definitely a high point.

So now it’s time to sort out the reading goals for this year.

I’ve already talked about some of them (maybe too much!)

I’ve also talked a lot about the constant source of dismay that is my TBR list. That… has only grown, haha. (Both the list and the sense of dismay!) Now that I’ve been reading, I suddenly keep hearing more about other books; I see recommendations based on things I’ve read, or find more books by authors I like, or I give in to the desire to browse a bit and find a dozen things… I’ve also started actually adding things to my TBR list when my friends mention something they like, instead of just saying it sounds good and then pretending that my brain will retain that information, haha.

Figuring out how to read ebooks has certainly been a double-edged sword. I used to easily be able to completely ignore ebook sales! Now when something comes up for $1.99 or $2.99 and I know it’s something I’ve heard good things about, or thought about maybe wanting to read someday, it’s really difficult to resist grabbing it for later! (I often do not resist.) So that has certainly added pretty exponentially to the list. Like, really exponentially. I’ve gotta rein it in, because a couple bucks each still adds up to $$$ eventually.

My list last year was, I think, around 200 or so, once I factored in some most-of-a-bibliography bundles I had. Now that I’ve read 68 books, that list has shrunk down to… 321. :|
(To be fair, that includes some things that are on my wishlist or that aren’t out yet, so that I do not currently have available to me, but even so; those are things I plan to someday read. It does also include some rereads.)

Buuuut, because I figured I should have an accurate picture of things, I decided to also finally count up the indie and other miscellaneous ebooks that I have saved. (Lots of romance/erotica stuff from “stuff your kindle” events and such, some indie books that I bought to support an author I’d talked to/liked reading posts from/etc., the free “first reads” book per month that Amazon lets you pick, etc. ) I have resisted counting those up for years, now. Once I factor in all of those… the total list is at 509 books, and I want to cry a little bit.

Even at last year’s pace that I am very proud of, this is between five and ten years of reading, and I KNOW I will keep adding to the TBR at a pace that outstrips the actual reading that I’m capable of.

Welp. The only way out is through, and all that.

I remind myself again of what I settled on last year: it is a wonderful thing to have so many books that I want to read ahead of me. It is fine for it to be a list I may never reach the end of, because I would certainly never want to run out of things to read. How lucky to have these things available to me!

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So what are my reading goals for 2026?

My goals!

The top-level one: read at least 50 books.

(Obviously, I’d like to read more than that, but 68 was a big stretch for me, while 50 is close to a book per week, which feels doable, but still an effort.)

Secondary goal: read more of the genre classics, specifically starting with Tolkien, Le Guin, and Pratchett.

This is one that I’ve talked about before, when I was talking about avoidance and feelings of shame. There are several classics of the fantasy and sci-fi genres that I haven’t read, or didn’t read when I was in a place to appreciate them. The biggest one is Tolkien. Two of the other authors on that list (who I happen to have humble bundles of books by), are Ursula K Le Guin, and Terry Pratchett. They’re authors I want to read, but because I’ve gone so long without doing so, I feel guilty, and then continue to avoid them because I feel bad. Which is, objectively, stupid haha. So this year, I want to at least start reading some of their work.

Additional secondary goal: reread The Murderbot Diaries in preparation for the new one coming out this year.

I love The Murderbot Diaries, and have wanted to reread them anyway. I’m excited we get another book this year, and so want to reread the series.

Less related to the reading itself, but a parallel goal: make sure I’m being consistent with how I rate books. (I’m planning on using that chart I posted a while back as a starting point, weighing the good parts against the less-good parts.) It feels a little wrong that most of what I read gets a 4, when theoretically 3s should be the most common rating. But I do try to curate my list based on what I expect to enjoy, so perhaps it’s not that surprising that I like more than I don’t. But I also should get over feeling like a 3 is “mean” or a bad rating. It’s just in the middle!

Also setting a few extra “stretch goals”:

- Read the 2025 Pride storybundle of ebooks (14 queer-themed ebooks)
- Read 75 books for the year
- Start incorporating some anthologies of short stories into my reading rotation

Some broader goals, which may or may not fully happen this year:

- Read a little more widely in terms of genre/subgenre/within my genres. I’m not sure I’ll branch out super far; I like my fantasy/sci-fi/horror/romance fiction, and I am perfectly fine sticking primarily to my genres of choice. However, a lot of my TBR is pretty strongly curated; it’s by authors I already know I like, or works that I feel fairly confident that I will enjoy. Yet one of the things I was happiest about with my 2025 reads was reading that horror bundle, including books I probably wouldn’t have picked up on their own. While I didn’t love everything in there, it let me discover some books I really did love and some authors I hope to read more of. So… especially when I give in to those $1.99 ebook sales, or when I get to pick a freebie at the beginning of the month, I want to pick some things that might be a bit to the side of what I’d usually read.

- Sort of related: some of the books now on the list are ones that I’ve heard very mixed things about, but that were pretty buzzy. I don’t want to hate-read, or buy books I know I’m not likely to enjoy, fucking Fourth Wing, or fucking pull-to-publish HP fic, but there are some that have had surges of popularity and acclaim, and then backlash to the popularity, and that I’ve just never read. A few have come up in the aforementioned cheap sales, and so I’ve gone ahead and added them to my list, even though I don’t know if I’ll enjoy them. This could make for pleasant surprises, or perhaps they’ll balance out all those 4+ star ratings, haha.

(Unfortunate side note to the above: because I just keep adding my new acquisitions to the end of the list, those buzzy reads and such are really… not likely to be terribly relevant anymore by the time I reach them. I may have to figure out a way to rebalance the list a bit, so I can read things when they’re still being talked about, rather than five+ years after the fact. (Not that books become IRRELEVANT after release, and thinking they do is terrible! A good book can matter forever!) But in terms of like… discussion around a book, or seeing how people feel about it, sometimes it’s nice to not be years late to the party, y’know?)

- Allow myself to be a DNFer. I DNFed one book in 2025, and still feel very vaguely guilty about it. But with creeping-up-near-500 books waiting for me, I really don’t want to spend time on things I’m not enjoying or getting anything out of. I don’t intend to DNF just anything that I’m not loving (though maybe I should, considering the length of the list.) I can see value in reading things I don’t like, too. Sometimes it helps me figure out what specifically I don’t care for, which can help me identify why I enjoy the things I do. Sometimes it helps me clarify things for my own writing that I may want to keep in mind. So… I’m okay with reading things I don’t like, but if I’m having to force myself to keep reading, or it feels like it’s turning into a chore, then I’d rather DNF than kill my momentum for reading entirely.

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So what is my plan for tackling the list in 2026?

My plans!

My plan for the year is similar to what I did in 2025. I plan to alternate between different “types” of book. I want to alternate between some of those classics I’m planning to read, those pride ebooks, and other books from the TBR list. (And the TBR list is a set list, that I have already picked an order for. This saves me from decision paralysis, haha. It also means that hopefully nothing just gets pushed perpetually to the bottom of the list.)

As before, I plan to have ebook side-reads. Now that I’ve actually counted them up, hoo boy, there are a bunch. (Though I actually have almost as many of miscellaneous genres as I do the romance/erotica ones that I thought dominated the list. Those do have the highest numbers, but not by the margin I expected.) Rather than picking quite at random, I’m also planning to alternate these; random genre ones alternating with the romance or erotica ones alternating with short story anthologies.

Another thing I’m doing for myself as a sort of incentive: when I do reach the end of a “group” of things I have as a goal (so… when I finish Lord of the Rings, or finish UKLG’s Earthsea books, or finish the Murderbot reread, etc.), then I get to pick something from anywhere on the TBR list. That way I can pick something I’m excited for, or that might be a newer acquisition, without throwing off the whole plan, haha.

I do also have seven 2026 releases (all continuations of existing series) that I’m looking forward to, and that will have permission to jump the line as soon as they come out:
Through Gates of Garnet and Gold by Seanan McGuire; the next Wayward Children book - January 06 This came out today!
Butterfly Effects by Seanan McGuire; the next Incryptid book - March 10
Platform Decay by Martha Wells; the next Murderbot book - May 05
Inkpot Gods by Seanan McGuire; the next Alchemical Journeys book - June 09
A Divided Duty by Seanan McGuire; the next October Daye book - September 29
Dead Beat by Leigh Bardugo; the next Alex Stern book - September
Abdication by Jeff VanderMeer; the next Southern Reach book - October (rumored)

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The initial tentative TBR:
- finish Manhunt (the final Nightfire humble bundle horror ebook) Done!
- Through Gates of Garnet and Gold (released today, and jumping the line!)
- Ninth House (has been on the TBR basically since it came out, keeps getting pushed back)
- What Feasts at Night (Christmas gift; sequel to What Moves the Dead)
- We’re Here: Queer Speculative Fiction Anthology 2023 (Pride storybundle ebook)
- Hell Bent (Christmas gift; sequel to Ninth House)
- What Stalks the Deep (Christmas gift; sequel to What Feasts at Night)
- Point of Dreams (Pride storybundle ebook)
- The Hobbit (Tolkien!)
- The Map and the Territory (Pride storybundle ebook)
- The Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien!)
- These Fragile Graces, This Fugitive Heart (Pride storybundle ebook)
- The Two Towers (Tolkien!)
- Be the Sea (Pride storybundle ebook)
- Return of the King (Tolkien!)

Starting off with a couple that I just wanted to get to: the first two Alex Stern novels, and the next two Sworn Soldier novellas. Also starting to work in the queer ebooks, and then Tolkien.

That should get me through the first two or three months of the year! (I’d like that to be the first two months; I am guessing it may be closer to three or even four, since some will certainly not be quick reads.)

We’ll see how it goes from there!

By some chain of events that I'm not 100% clear on, on Saturday afternoon/evening, I went down a rabbit hole of searching for female-led fantasy books. Again. I can't count how many times I've done this, and yet the results are most often frustrating and unsatisfying, in a way that makes me feel like a weird gremlin.

Part of that is that I'm incredibly persnickety about what I'm looking for, and none of the people who have tried recommending books to me really gets it.

( a random sampling of some of my idiosyncrasies: )

So on a whim, I started reading Michelle Sagara's Cast in Shadow (published in 2005). I daresay it's quite a good book. It's well-written, and the worldbuilding is intriguing. Various mysteries are laid out meticulously and answered piecemeal. Conflict abounds. If I didn't have a series of incredibly specific sensitivities, I probably would have enjoyed it greatly. Followed by enjoying the next 15-20 books in the same series. About one a year since the first one, maybe? Anyway, it's a lot of books.

But 2005 wasn't a very good year for me, and something about the context of the book sent me back there in a way that I didn't care for. I didn't finish it.

I can neither recommend, nor counter-recommend it.

Feathered serpent sticker from Featherbone. Shedding the skin of the old year and all.

Second half of the week! This week ended mostly on the note of miserable uncertainty about the entire geopolitical landscape. Trying not to let that overshadow everything... It doesn't really feel like a new year! I am trying to get into the mindset a bit, though. (At least completing last year's reading goals and now setting some new ones feels like something of a dividing line, so there's one thing that feels like closure and restarting!) I am glad I took Friday off, to give myself an extra day to try and get my life together, haha.

Goals for the week:

• I did read more of Manhunt
• I posted my 2026 intentions
• I posted my 2025 books
• I did not yet post my 2026 reading plans
• I did set up my 2026 reading page
• I did set up my tracking grids for January
• I did not patch the seat in the truck

Tracked habits:

• Work - 1/3 - we were closed on NYD, and I took the 2nd off
• Household Maintenance - 2/3
• Physical Activity - 1/3
• Wrote 500/1000+ Words - 0/3
• Non-fiction Writing - 2/3 - both over 1000 words
• Meta Work - 2/3
• Personal Writing - 3/3
• Other Creative Things - 2/3
• Reading - 3/3 - I read more of Manhunt; Alex and I read some of The Sun Dog
• Attention to Media - 3/3 - Thursday we watched three episodes of Stranger Things, and later some reviews; Friday there was storm chasing and reviews in the background; Saturday we watched some paranormal videos, the reviews later, and then news coverage after getting a late-night alert.
• Video Games - 0/3
• Social Interaction - 2/3

Total words written: 3022 on plans and reflections

And after Bella's invisible ears in the previous post:

Here's a picture of her that Alex took on New Year's Eve, complete with ears!

I doubt I'll end up doing all the snowflake_challenge posts this year, but here's an easy one!

As if I need an excuse to post pet pics. :)

So here are the critters, ringing in the new year (ish).


Belladonna! (She really does still have ears, I promise.)


Summer "Berry Mad" Refresher, the Woodhouse's toad, dug down into a hole.


Guava Splash Electrolyte, my very chubby little chorus frog.


(This picture is from Alex.) It's Clickbait, the katydid! I am *blown away* (and delighted) that we still have a living katydid into the new year.

Bonus pet:


Jaspurr, my mom and younger sibling's cat.

(Not pictured: Ripley, my mom and younger sibling's garter snake. I don't have any new pictures of her since last time.)

The house has been either entirely too cold or very pleasant, and no middle ground. There's been a fire all day, and it has helped a lot. One of the big issues we have is concrete floors, and it's slick and keeps the cold really well. Perfect for summer. Awful, terrible, no good, and bad for winter.

But I do have house shoes that supposedly are arriving tomorrow? I'm fine if they show up Monday though. I don't really like how the USPS has to deliver packages on Sundays.

The upcoming months are already filling up. I'm going to be busy so many weekends!

What a good start to the year.

(We were still awake late last night, so Alex got a news alert and switched over to coverage of the airstrikes in Venezuela, though I eventually had to go to bed.)

Who cares about petty things like the Constitution or legality? Those are for other people.

Sure, Maduro is a corrupt dictator, and shouldn't be in control of the country... but we all know that has nothing to do with this. And even if it did, that doesn't mean that any nation can just... swoop in and kidnap a corrupt leader and declare the intent to take over.

Not that it's stopped us before. Sometimes we at least pretended some subtlety.

Empires gonna empire.

In 2024, I decided to keep track of the books I read by drawing them on a shelf in my tracker. I liked it, so I did that again! Each book is on there, along with an object from or representing the book, because maximalism forever.



I'm quite happy with it! :D (Minus the fact that I spaced them out way too much early in the year, and at the end I had to cram 'em in. But "I read more books than I expected having to fit on there" is very much a non-problem, haha.)

I read 68 books for 2025! :D I am thrilled. (Not as thrilled as I'd be if I'd hit 69, lol... or maybe I should have stopped one short in order to be hipper with the kids these days, and ended with 67.) The 68 does not count either of the in-progress books, or the short stories.

41 of those books were physical, and 27 of them were ebooks. 10 of them were books I read with someone else, either Alex or Taylor.

By far the most common rating I gave was a 4/5.

My initial goal when I started the year was to read 25 books (though I quickly realized I should aim for more.) I hit that goal in May!
After that, my next goal was to finish the currently available Wayward Children novellas. (That was 10 novellas, which I was interspersing between other reads.) I hit that goal in August!
My next stretch goal after that was to reach 50 books, double my original goal. I managed that in October!
My final stretch goal for the year was to finish the Tor Nightfire humble bundle ebooks, which was a set of 18 horror novels/novellas that I had gotten the year before. This one I did not quite manage, though I have started reading the final book from the set, so... almost!

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A couple more zoomed in pictures of my drawn shelves to see better detail, plus a list of the books and their objects:

As before, I started with the bottom shelf, because you should always load shelves from the bottom, haha. Then I snaked back and forth, so the bottom shelf goes from left to right, then the next one up goes right to left, etc.

The books and their objects:

Bottom shelf, left to right:
(a decorative little plant cutting in a red owl glass, which are actual shotglasses Alex bought me, ha)
The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune, with the brass button of Linus' that Theodore takes
The Infernal City by Greg Keyes, with the locket that Annaïg uses to contact Atrebus
Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire, with a pomegranate, for Nancy's door
Somewhere Beyond the Sea by T.J. Klune, with a phoenix feather
Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire, which got two objects, one for each twin: Jill's choker, and a jar of captive lightning for Jack
Trouble and Her Friends by Melissa Scott, with a cable behind it
Beneath the Sugar Sky by Seanan McGuire, Rini's magic candy bracelet

Second shelf, right to left:
Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, with the jade bead that Atl got from her mother
Her Rival Dragon Mate by Arizona Tape, with a burgundy dragon scale
Never Say You Can't Survive by Charlie Jane Anders, with a cup of pens and pencils, plus a pride flag
The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling, with some of the mysterious cave fungus
In an Absent Dream by Seanan McGuire, with a golden eagle feather, the bird that Lundy is transformed into
Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt, with a bloody scalpel (not a fun object in the book...)
The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle, with a unicorn horn in the trans pride colors (because there are Vibes)
Come Tumbling Down by Seanan McGuire, with Jack's glasses
Boys in the Valley by Philip Fracassi, with a bottle of holy water

The third shelf, left to right:
Breaking the Rules by Jen Katemi, with a bar of soap (the main character wants to start a soap business)
Installment Immortality by Seanan McGuire, with a ghost jar, containing a nail, rosemary branch, broken mirror...
(a decorative spider plant)
Space for Growth by Emily Antoinette, with a wrist communicator
You Feel It Just Below the Ribs by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson, with a damselfly
Across the Green Grass Fields by Seanan McGuire, with the bag that Regan ends up carrying her supplies in
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder, with a tentacle
Awakening Delilah by Abigail Barnette, with a pine branch
Lord of Souls by Greg Keyes, with Coo, the little mechanical sparrow that connects to Annaïg's locket

The fourth shelf, from right to left:
Aftermarket Afterlife by Seanan McGuire, with a bundle of the Anima Mundi's wheat
Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco, with the knife chain from Remy's weapon
Where the Drowned Girls Go by Seanan McGuire, with a logo for the Whitethorn Institute (though I reread the description and it said it was chevron shaped, so oops.)
Overgrowth by Mira Grant, with a vine and one of the alien seeds
Maeve Fly by C.J. Leede, with a jar of teeth
Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle, with the demon Pachid's nametag
Lost in the Moment and Found by Seanan McGuire, with the note the shop tried to give Antsy
Dead Silence by S.A. Barnes, with a pair of earplugs

The fifth shelf, from left to right:
Installment Immortality by Seanan McGuire (again), this time with the magic map Apple gives them
Hummingbird Salamander by Jeff VanderMeer, with the titular hummingbird
Mislaid in Parts Half-Known by Seanan McGuire, with the empty perch that Hudson would sit on
Night's Edge by Liz Kerin, with the broken rose quartz crystal that Jade gave to Mia
Buchanan House by Charlie Descateaux, with another pride flag
Uprooted by Naomi Novik, with a branch from the Wood
Adrift in Currents Clean and Clear by Seanan McGuire, with one of Nadya's beloved turtles

The sixth shelf, from right to left:
Alice Isn't Dead by Joseph Fink, with Keisha's truck key
Little Eve by Catriona Ward, with a jar of the honey the inhabitants of the island harvest
Witch King by Martha Wells, with a veil that Kai wears
The Dead Take the A Train by Cassandra Khaw and Richard Kadrey, with one of the potions that St. Joan makes
Tidal Creatures by Seanan McGuire, with one of Chang'e/Judy's peaches of immortality
Duma Key by Stephen King, with the evil china doll
Diavola by Jennifer Thorne, with the key to the villa
The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones, with a bison horn
Nothing But Blackened Teeth by Cassandra Khaw, with a lit candle
Silver and Lead by Seanan McGuire, with one of the bracelets the Luidaeg makes
What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher, with threatening mushrooms
Queen Demon by Martha Wells, with the emerald hair pins Kai has

The top shelf, from left to right:
Bloodhunt Academy by Minah Clement (adore!), with one of the vials of blood Jolene collects
Overgrowth by Mira Grant (again), with a figurine of Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors (Stacia has a novelty bank of Audrey II, but I don't think my little thing looks like a bank, ha.)
Dracula by Bram Stoker, with a little silver cross
Red Rabbit by Alex Grecian, with the poppet doll that was nailed to Rose's tree
A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab, with the broken black stone that unleashes Vitari
Your Shadow Half Remains by Sunny Moraine, with a knife stabbed through
A Gathering of Shadows by V.E. Schwab, with one of the glass element balls they use in the competition
Feeling the Heat: Part One by Emily Antoinette, with a rose
The Spite House by Johnny Compton, with the threatening lightbulb
Dead Silence by S.A. Barnes (again), this time with a screwdriver
Queen Demon by Martha Wells (again), this time with one of the fine little cups that Kai and group had
A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab, with Lila's shattered glass eye (could not get enough detail...)
What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher (again), with more mushrooms
Mary by Nat Cassidy, with one of Mary's broken Loved Ones figurines... with some blood on it
Silver and Lead by Seanan McGuire (again), this time with the shell knife the Luidaeg gave Toby
Feeling the Heat: Part Two by Emily Antoinette, with another rose
The Fragile Threads of Power by V.E. Schwab, set on top of the persalis box

On top of the shelves on the right are Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin and The Sun Dog by Stephen King, which are my two in-progress reads. To the left are "Swelter," "Shiver," and "Soak," which were three short stories by Jules Kelley that I read.

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My top ten books for the year:

All of these got 5 stars from me:
1) Queen Demon
2) What Moves the Dead
3) The Buffalo Hunter Hunter
4) Little Eve
5) The Luminous Dead
6) Witch King
7) Uprooted
8) Down Among the Sticks and Bones/Come Tumbling Down (two books, but both novellas focusing on mostly the same characters, so I counted them together)
9) A Darker Shade of Magic
10) The Last Unicorn

Honorable mentions to Lost in the Moment and Found, The Spite House, A Conjuring of Light, and The Fragile Threads of Power, which were all in the 4.5-5 star range.

My three least favorite books of the year:

3) Maeve Fly (I feel like I CANNOT say enough that I think the writing was very good, but the content just didn't work for me)
2) Breaking the Rules (which was my own fault; it is what it says on the tin, but leans into a poly relationship being just the most scandalous, forbidden, dirtybadwrong thing possible, which I just do not care for.)
1) Nothing But Blackened Teeth (which I really *wanted* (and expected) to like, but was so bothered by the miserably unlikable characters and continuity errors that had no excuse to be there in such a short book.)

I did also DNF one book: The Queen Rises.

I am absolutely delighted by how much I read in 2025, and am also delighted at how much of it was made of books (those horror ebooks, particularly), that I might not have otherwise picked up. I didn't love all of them, but it introduced me to several authors that I hope to read more of.

I'm very much hoping I can carry that energy forward into 2026, and maybe read even more, haha.

This year really doesn’t feel much like a year has passed, y’know?

Not just in the “how has it been a full year? Wasn’t last January like ten minutes ago?” way, which… I mean, yeah, that too, but it always feels like that, ha. 2025 just felt really disconnected, even more so than I expected. Maybe it’s the abnormally warm weather, but Christmas hardly felt like Christmas, and still sort of feels like it didn’t happen (despite having a nice one), and it definitely doesn’t feel like we’re moving into a new year!

(Sure, there’s no literal reason that the move from December 31 to January 01 is a more meaningful change than any other day. But at least sometimes I feel a sense of closure when one year ends, and some enthusiasm for another one starting. That feeling is so completely absent this year, ha.)

I have stuck with habit tracking for another year, and I plan to do so again this upcoming year. I mostly plan to track the same habits, with one change. A couple years ago, I separated 2nd+ draft writing out from the rest of my writing, because I wanted to see how different my pace was for first vs second drafts. Now I’ve been having a terrible time getting anything written at all, much less to the point that additional drafts are a consideration, so that’s just kind of… a wasted category. Instead, this year I think I’ll split it into fiction vs other writing. I still count my other writing as writing: writing reviews, or other things that require a bit more effort than a typical journal entry. But for now, I think that’s a more worthwhile distinction for me to be able to look at.

A lot of my intentions for this year are pretty similar to last year. It doesn’t feel like a “new” year, and there’s not a lot that I truly want to do differently. The things I succeeded at are things I want to keep doing, the things I didn’t are things I want to try to do again.

I do still have the same feeling that I did last year, where the general State of the World meant that it feels… petty? inconsequential? to be worrying about little individual goals and things. The world definitely isn’t feeling better right now, but I’m trying to look at this the same way I did last year:
Setting these intentions is a way to say that I do have plans to stick around, and do more than stagnate. The things may be small, but… whether things get better or worse on the grander scale, at least I will have done good and worthwhile things on the smaller scale. Reading good books and going to good places will be good regardless.

That said…

( Here are the intentions I’m setting for 2026: )

20 intentions for the year, some of which are repeats, some of which are new. I still anticipate time management being the biggest struggle, since so many things take time and energy, and I can’t do all of them at once. That’s nothing new! The battle is ongoing.

[I like to end my tracker at the end of the year, and begin again at the start, which means that most years there are partial weeks to end and start on.]

This week, a sticker by my friends the Atomic Pixies. I like the blue fairy, and it felt appropriately wintery and peaceful for the close of the year.

The time between Christmas and New Year's always feels a little weird. This span of four days was easy - two and a quarter of them I had off. I did manage to get a lot of what I'd hoped to completed - reviews, end of year stuff, etc.

Goals for the week:

• I did finish reading The Fragile Threads of Power
• I started reading Manhunt
• I worked on my reviews for December books
• I posted those reviews
• I did write up my 2025 reflections
• I declared a goal of 75000 words for 2026 at both getyourwordsout and inkingitout
• I mostly finished my reading page
• I didn't send thank you cards... there was apparently some drama that means I should no longer send anything to one part of the family
• New Year's Eve happened!
• I did my final getyourwordsout check-in for the year: 15034 words written in December; 116015 for the year
• We went and got crickets and more fruit flies

Tracked habits:

• Work - 1.75/4 - Monday/Tuesday are my days off, and we closed a couple hours early on Wednesday
• Household Maintenance - 3/4
• Physical Activity - 1/4
• Wrote 500/1000+ Words - 2/4 - both days over 1000 words
• Wrote on 2nd+ Draft - 0/4
• Meta Work - 4/4
• Personal Writing - 4/4
• Other Creative Things - 3/4
• Reading - 4/4 - I finished The Fragile Threads of Power and my ebook side-read; I started reading Manhunt
• Attention to Media - 4/4 - Sunday we watched some snow storm chase; Monday watched paranormal stuff and reviews; Tuesday had storm chasing and reviews in the background; Tuesday we watched a livestream counting down NYE stuff.
• Video Games - 0/4
• Social Interaction - 3/4

Total words written: 8592 on reviews and reflecting

Here's hoping 2026 is better than last year, though that seems unlikely for those of us in the U.S. Unless new representatives help tip the political balance a little.

We started off the day watching the Ducks win the Orange Bowl, which was fun. We didn't do any real New Year's Eve celebrating—HalfshellHusband and I watched a movie, although the Boy went to a small party thrown by a friend of a friend. He had a great time, but I was up late so I could pick him up and bring him home.

Geez, why don't we know any people who can invite us to parties anymore?

Over at Idol, we're waiting on the final poll for the Wheel of Chaos season. I didn't make it into the finale, but I finished 4th this time thanks to everyone's support! I'm looking forward to whenever the 20th season kicks off, but I expect that'll be awhile.

Not sure what I'll do today, other than possibly putting together more of my pseudo-LEGO steampunk airship set. Maybe go out for a brief walk, now that the skies have cleared? It's too wet for bicycling. AND, in case you were wondering... I have biked outside ONE TIME in the last 5 1/2 weeks. We've either had miserably cold fog or rain since November 24th. I am so sick of it. I started watching Orphan Black at the beginning of this stint, and now I'm in Season 5. I may wind up finishing it before the weather gets bikeable again. :O

I hope all of you are enjoying New Year's Day, ideally with friends or family and fun food. \o/

The fic commentary post will be up shortly, but for now, here's the reveal!

From Graves Forgotten Stretch Their Dusty Hands (42124 words) by calliopes_pen
Chapters: 9/9
Fandom: Nosferatu (2024)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Thomas Hutter/Orlok, Friedrich Harding/Thomas Hutter, Ellen Hutter/Thomas Hutter
Characters: Thomas Hutter, Friedrich Harding, Albin Eberhart von Franz, Wilhelm Sievers, Orlok (Nosferatu), Greta the Cat (Nosferatu)
Additional Tags: Crueltide, Nightmares, Mind Control, Brainwashing, Demonic Possession, Post-Possession, Vague mention of canon necrophilia, Offscreen Cannibalism, Necromancy, Comes Back Wrong, Evil Detecting Animals, Found Family, No Animals Are Harmed, Fog, Tons of research, Fainting, Unholy mental connection, Bittersweet Ending, Decapitation, Thomas has been used horribly by the great beyond, Von Franz is in research mode, Von Franz adores his cats, Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon

Summary: Three months after his presumed final destruction, Orlok’s essence comes forth to seize control of Thomas, and bid him to perform an act of necromancy as revenge. What comes back is Friedrich Harding...and yet not. It is a man transformed into a Nachzehrer, a being hungry for the life and soul and flesh of the only one left of those it once loved: Thomas.

2025 was a year! Another one!

The change from one year to another is an arbitrary distinction, but a genuine cultural one, and it’s a fitting time to do a bit of an inventory of how things are going, and what I want to do going forward.

There were good and bad things about 2025, as is almost always the case.

The hardest thing for us was losing Cy. I miss him so much.

I’m not sure there was a single “best” moment, but Alex and I did go do a lot of things this year that were really fun. We went to a lantern festival and to a really cool Halloween event, we saw the northern lights for a second year in a row, we made a lot of time for hiking. At least the hiking was also something that Bella got to often come do with us, which was also fun. She’s also continued doing FastCAT, which she seems to really enjoy, and has started to improve at.

Most years, at the beginning I set intentions for the year to come. (It’s semantic, but “intentions” feels better to me than setting “resolutions,” haha.)

Starting off 2025, I was not feeling terribly hopeful. The whole political and social landscape of the US felt (and still feels) nearly insurmountably awful, and it was hard to feel like focusing on personal minutiae was a worthwhile concern.

Even so, setting those intentions meant, to me, that I was promising myself that I was sticking around and doing what I could to make my life (and maybe even the lives of those around me!) better. Even if the things themselves were small, just sticking around and surviving and aiming for “better” was worthwhile.

As usual, I met with somewhat mixed success.

I set myself 20 intentions for 2025:

(I split these into categories based on the habits that I track for myself.)

Work:
- Maintain my improved call rates

I did succeed in maintaining my improved call rates. I’ve consistently hit the standard!

Household stuff:
- Try once again to do some weekly cleaning/organizing tasks

Eh… Same issue as before, where I still mostly would do a small flurry of cleaning, and then do nothing for weeks. I’d also wind up just repeating a lot of the same tasks as they needed doing again, and never getting to others.

Physical activity:
- Move more, find something I can do that I don’t hate
- Maybe hike more, go out to clubs more

We did a great job of going out and hiking more! We went almost every week on at least one of my days off, and when I took a longer stretch off for a week or so over the summer, we did things more days than not. I’m a little frustrated that despite that, I don’t feel like I’m in any better shape now than I was last year.
We did not do any real clubbing or anything. I want to go, but not alone, and Alex (despite being the one who used to want to do it five nights a week!) has started to feel anxious and uncomfortable in those settings, even when we went to a handful of concerts. I miss it, but also don’t want him to do things he’s unhappy with.

Writing:
- Write 75000 words for the year, as declared in both getyourwordsout and inkingitout
- Continue trying to find a method that allows me to work on more than one project at once
- Finish at least one multi-chapter work

I did meet and surpass my 75000 word goal! Unfortunately, very little of that really wound up being on fiction. I still count the writing I do on reviews and things toward the wordcount, but that was really the bulk of what I did.
The attempt to work on multiple projects is… ongoing. I think I’ve found a fairly good method, or at least one that I want to try, but I haven’t really gotten far enough on anything to see for sure whether it feels workable for me.
I did do a fair amount of work on one multi-chapter work around the mid-year, but ultimately decided it needed a lot more developmental work, and abandoned the draft. I did not finish anything, alas.

Meta stuff:
- Download more media that I want to keep copies of
- Better organize my own tagging and bookmarks
- Wrangle my email inboxes

I did download at least a few things that I wanted to, though I also waited a bit too long on others. I’d wanted to make sure I had copies of all of Seanan McGuire’s Patreon stories… and then some issue with Patreon meant that a lot of the older stories disappeared. I haven’t checked recently to see if that glitch was fixed, but there may be stuff I can’t access at this point. (Much of it I did print out for my mom, so I can at least maybe make copies of her copies, ha.)
I really didn’t do any organizational stuff in terms of tagging.
I did try to wrangle my email a bit. I’ve gone from 20000+ unread things per tab to a few hundred to around a thousand in each category. It’s hard to stay on top of when I get hundreds of emails per day. I (foolishly) subscribed to a BUNCH of author newsletters, wanting to find non social-media ways to keep up with people… but then got super overwhelmed and couldn’t make myself open any of them, so they just keep building up.

Personal writing:
- Continue keeping up with DW pretty regularly

I did keep up on Dreamwidth! I’m glad that I’ve managed to post fairly consistently without feeling like I MUST post every single day.

Other creative things:
- Take advantage of opportunities for artistic things, like taking pictures on hikes

Other creative things… I haven’t done a ton, but I did take a lot of pictures when we were out on hikes, and that was nice. I’ve also done another reading page that let me do some drawing.

Reading:
- Read at least 25 books

Reading was maybe my most successful category for the year. I wanted to read at least 25 books, and I’ll be ending the year at 68! I’m very happy that I read so much more than felt doable for me.

Attention to media:
- Be deliberate about watching things I want to see
- Figure out how to carve out time for podcasts again

… Eh, mixed results on being deliberate about it. We’ve watched a lot of stuff that mostly falls under the “background noise” category (Alex watches a lot of storm chasing, urban ex, paranormal investigations, things like that), but I’m also pretty okay with that. Time management being what it is, I really don’t have time to *be* super mindful toward hours of media every night, if I also want to do writing and reading and things. There are a few movies and things I’ve been excited for, and it’s been nice when I get to see those.
I managed to keep up with Dracula Daily, but that was the only podcast type thing I listened to, which was helped because I could follow along with text. I really want to catch up on Within the Wires, but audio remains hard for me to focus on.

Video games:
- Just let myself play them!

While Taylor and I played through quite a lot of Final Fantasy XIV together, I really didn’t play much at all on my own. It sucks, because I really do want to, but it feels like I never have the time. Contrary to my goal of letting myself play them when I want, I do always feel guilty and like I should be doing something else if I even *think* about playing something.

Social interaction:
- Participate more in DW comms
- Participate in Discord servers
- Maintain a presence on tumblr and Bluesky, including posting my own things
- Spend time with Taylor

My social intention intentions were the ones I felt the shakiest on… with good reason. I really did not participate much in DW communities at all, though I did take a few hosting weeks for writethisfanfic. I definitely didn’t participate on Discord. While I stuck around on tumblr, reblogging as usual, I pretty much ignored Bluesky, and didn’t end up making or sharing anything of my own there.
I did spend more time with Taylor, which was great!

While there were some things I still struggled with or didn’t quite manage to do, I feel good about the year. I’m sort of expecting that my next year will look fairly similar: a lot of what I succeeded at will be things I want to continue doing; the things I didn’t succeed at may be things I want to make another attempt at.

(My 2025 has ended on a fairly good note, eating delicious Indian food, ha. We are not going out to do anything. It was tempting to attempt a club night, but eh… braving all the drunks in the club and on the road sounds terrible, haha. I’m planning to take a nap, lol. Living it up!)

Finished this month

Exercise every day in 2025
Weight lift every day of 2025
Brush teeth 360 times in 2025
Shower weekly 2025
Deodorant daily 2025
Art Every Day 2025
Paint 9 times in 2025
Write in Spanish every day of 2025
Write in Russian every week of 2025
Write weekly 2025
Read 2 pages of Spanish every day 2025
Clean 2 minutes per weekday 2025
Clean 10 minutes per week 2025
Buy a car
Watch a video in Spanish every week 2025
Watch a video in Russian every week 2025
Go to temple 12 times in 2025

I'm so bad at posting here (sorry) BUT if you are into this sort of thing, we've got a little Fallout icon battle going on over here. Come play!

Alarming to think that 2025 will be over in about 14 hours. Which means, in fact, that it's probably already over for someone who lives quite near the international date line, doesn't it?

NYE is not really much of a celebration for me. Well, when I was younger, I would take it a bit more seriously. A few times, I went out with friends. More often, it was something like a small house party, with drinking and music and maybe some games. As we got older, a lot of us drifted apart. The ones who still celebrated NYE often preferred to do it with their families.

Well, I celebrate with my family, too. Sort of. 1/1 is my mother's birthday. This year, we're planning something a bit special, which entails some baking on my part, so this morning I went out for supplies. And tomorrow morning I'll be baking with my sister.

I hope everyone has a good NYE, however you do/don't celebrate it. And I hope that 2026 brings some good surprises.

Anyone else get the massive urge to make jam and can tomato sauce and do the rest of the sort of food put up in the liminal space between Christmas and New Year's?

We’re not—quite—to the end of December, but I think I can probably concede that I’m not going to finish another book by the end of the day tomorrow.

I did read a whopping nine books this month, which is so many more than usual for me!

I’ll have another post looking back at the whole year in terms of reading, but I’m fairly happy with how I finished it out.

My last “stretch goal” for reading this year was to finish the Tor Nightfire horror ebooks that I got in a humble bundle. I did not quite hit that goal, but I have started reading the final one, so I feel like I get partial credit, haha.

This month I read:

The Spite House by Johnny Compton
4.5/5
Horror (subgenres: paranormal, haunting, gothic) - ebook novel

Eric and his daughters, Dess and Stacy, are on the run. After an inexplicable event chased them away from their life in Maryland, they’re heading to Eric’s family home in Odessa, TX, with at best vague plans for some sort of security this may offer them. Eric has been forced to take under-the-table jobs to support them on their way. Then he finds a job listing that sounds too good to be true: an eccentric woman asking someone to spend time living in a particular “spite house,” and record their experience, searching for evidence of the paranormal. The payment is beyond generous if they complete their time, regardless of any paranormal findings, in addition to providing the room and board for the time spent in the house itself. This truly does seem extremely perfect for the situation they’re in, and when he is offered the job, he accepts. It does not take long for strange things to start happening within the spite house. The house itself has more history than they’re aware of, and some of it could be far more dangerous than strange noises and unexplained cold spots.

My thoughts, only vague spoilers:

I really enjoyed this book! As usual, that means that I struggle to find what to say about it, ha.

A spite house is a fantastic setting. (A spite house is, as it says on the tin, a structure that’s built primarily out of spite, intended to annoy neighbors or landowners or someone else more than it is intended to be a functional home. Often these structures end up being extremely impractical in terms of construction.) In the case of the one in the story, it was built on top of a hill to loom over the other buildings on the property. The building is extremely, bizarrely long and narrow, and one of the upstairs floors has a strange long hallway added as an addition that skirts the exterior wall. The architecture of the space definitely adds to the weirdness and creepiness of the setting even before the supernatural elements come in. (Though I did have to keep revising my mental image, because my brain kept trying to make it “look” more “normal” in my head, haha.)

I enjoyed how everyone was an unreliable narrator in this. Eric and Dess have something very specific that they’re trying to hide. Eunice, the woman who owns the house, is deliberately concealing information from Eric, wanting to make sure that he remains willing to stay in the house. Eunice’s employees are often torn between loyalty to her, and the desire to protect the family, particularly the children, which mostly leads to them only offering partial truths.

I mostly enjoyed the different points of view that the story alternated between, but it felt maybe a little excessive. It was nice to get the different perspectives and piece together the whole story of the spite house’s past and present based on what the different characters know about it, as well as seeing what they share versus what they conceal. However, I think it might have worked a little better with slightly fewer perspectives, because some of them were similar enough to each other that they felt a little redundant or didn’t add anything unique to the mix, and I would rather have stuck with one of the primary characters.

There’s a strong theme of cycles of abuse/tragedy/hatred/revenge/spite… As well as how to break those cycles, and whether or not they can be, and to what lengths you may have to go to do so. I also like the elements of privilege and marginalization… Eric, Dess, and Stacy are Black. Eunice is white, and while she prides herself on being extremely progressive (and in some ways she is), she is also very willing to take advantage of Eric and his daughters, while justifying it to herself repeatedly. She never wants bad things to happen to them, but she is willing to use them even if that means those bad things will happen. (To be fair, she was willing to take advantage of the white couple she’d previously hired, too. But she is always willing to leverage her social and financial power, while spinning it to herself as doing favors, and writing a bigger check to smooth over any ills.)

I hope that Alex picks this one to read together at some point, because I’d like to reread it. I’ve also added another book by this author to my wishlist.

Dead Silence by S.A. Barnes
4/5
Sci-fi/Horror (subgenres: psychological, haunting) (background m/f) - ebook novel - read with Alex

Claire and her temporary crew are on their final mission to the outer reaches of occupied space, replacing parts of the communication net before the task is automated. There should be nothing else out there, yet they intercept a distress call. Investigating it leads them to a ghost ship, the remains of the first and only attempt at a luxury cruise in space. The Aurora vanished twenty years before, taking its hundreds of celebrity passengers and entire crew with it.
The ghost ship represents the chance to solve an enduring mystery, and maybe more importantly, the opportunity for salvage. If they can stake their claim, prove they're the ones who found it, this could be the financial chance for all of them to do whatever they want with their futures. As they investigate the ship, it becomes clear that this wasn't some mechanical or systems failure. Everywhere are signs of violence and paranoia; murders and suicides seemed to claim almost all the lives on board.
Months later, Claire is in an institution, medicated and monitored by the corporation that employed her. They want to know what happened aboard the Aurora. She can't remember her escape, or what happened to some of her crew. Her employer thinks she killed them. She's sure that there was something terrible aboard the ghost ship, and that whatever it was, it's still dangerous.

My thoughts, minor spoilers

I gave this one a 4.5 the first time I read it, but on a reread a tiny bit of the shine had worn off, and it was more of a regular 4. Which is still quite good, and I did really enjoy it, even on the second read through.

I’d still say that Alien is the clearest comp title, though with paranormal happenings rather than extraterrestrial. I’ll also still say that this is much more of a horror story in a sci-fi setting, rather than it being a sci-fi story with horror elements. I enjoy that, and I still enjoy that at least some of the paranormal stuff is paranormal, rather than all getting some tech explanation.

I still love the setting of the long-abandoned cruise ship in space, I love it being the site of unexplained, horrible violence and death, and the characters having to put together what happened via a sort of found-footage examination, while also realizing that they might be experiencing the same phenomenon, whatever it may be.

The things that I didn’t care for as much the first time did bother me just as much or more the second time. I do feel like, for a story set a century+ in the future, too much of the culture felt too current. It feels anachronistic, though I don’t know that the word technically applies to something set in the future. Sometimes it felt fine - I don’t mind that some of the prominent guests on the cruise ship were reality show starlets, because that feels like the sort of archetype that we could very well still have in the future. Other times it felt jarring - one of the jerks on the crew wearing crude novelty t-shirts that I’m pretty sure I’ve actually seen at a Spencers Gifts. Idioms and curses and things also felt a little too current-modern, in a way that feels unlikely for a century in the future. (Though to be fair, I’d rather that than attempts to create ridiculous-sounding new slang, which is so often super silly. I still think it would have been better to just phrase things in more neutral ways, so it didn’t feel like a future-anachronism.)

The other thing that fell flatter for me this time (though I didn’t love it the first time) was the romance between Claire and Kane. It just felt… meh, to me. It’s very much a B-plot, and doesn’t wildly detract from the rest of the story or anything. I just didn’t feel the chemistry from them for the majority of the book, and it felt forced. I’m glad enough for them to get together at the end, and wasn’t rooting against them or anything, but they were just sort of boring.

I am always a fan of the real villain being capitalism.

Queen Demon by Martha Wells
Book two of The Rising World
5/5
Fantasy - physical novel - read with Taylor

Kai and Zeide; along with Zeide’s rescued wife, Tahren; Tahren’s brother, Dahin; and their younger charges Sanja and Tenes; return to the Rising World. The conspiracy against them, to destabilize the coalition and raise one of the Prince-Heirs to the position of emperor, has been revealed. Kai is perfectly happy to leave everything to the political powers to sort out, now that the conspirators have been unmasked. Unfortunately, before he’s able to fully retreat home, Dahin requests his help. Dahin thinks that he might have discovered the location of the Heirarch’s Well, the massive reservoir of power that they used in their conquest of the world. When an archeological expedition to the same area finds evidence that there was a Hierarch there far more recently than should be possible, the theory becomes something far too dangerous to ignore.
In the past, Kai continues to travel with Bashasa, the Prince-Heir who has become the leader of an alliance against the Hierarchs’ conquest. Despite his desire to simply act as Bashasa’s bodyguard, Kai keeps being given more and more responsibility within the alliance, including creating a tentative agreement with a group of dust witches and taking charge of them to fight in a major battle against the Hierarchs… and potentially the other demons that they’ve enslaved.

My thoughts, only vague spoilers:

I just read this one, but was already excited to reread it! And yet again, I struggle to say enough about it.

I enjoyed the worldbuilding, and how complex the whole world feels. (It is sometimes a lot to keep track of, but in a way that very much works for me; it all feels very well-considered and consistent, so that complexity feels genuine rather than convoluted, in my opinion.)

The interplay between the characters is constantly excellent. Getting an interaction between Kai and Bashat was as fraught and slightly tragic as I’d hoped. Every scene between Kai and Bashasa in the past breaks my heart, even as I adore them and it makes me laugh each time Bashasa gets cockblocked. I said it last time, but I also appreciated that in the present there is a brief period where the whole character group gets a chance to just rest for a while. It’s not long, and it doesn’t kill the plot momentum, but it was nice to see the characters together and not in active crisis. It makes me believe and care about their “found family” dynamic, and understand what it is the characters themselves want out of their “normal lives.”
As a sidenote: this is “found family” in the way that I find truly enjoyable; it does not map onto a nuclear family (minus, I guess, that Ziede and Tahren are married, and that Tahren and Dahin are siblings), but they do all feel like family to each other. I typically do not like what I see get described as “found family,” where you have a “dad” character and a “mom” character and the rest are their “kids”, because that gives me the ick. There are kids that are being cared for as part of the group, but all the relationships are layered and complex where the trope often feels very shallow.

I appreciate and enjoy the alternating between chapters set in the present and the chapters set in the past. The two timelines do parallel each other really well, with similar or contrasting events and themes, but it never feels forced or repetitive. In some ways it’s also very funny to switch back and forth, because in the present day Kai is thought of as this near-mythical war hero, the unstoppable general of Bashasa’s rebellion… and in the past you can see how unfamiliar that role is and how reluctant (and at times slightly resentful) he is to take it on.

The end of this book is not a true cliffhanger, but it was still gut-wrenching, and I really need a third book.

A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab
Book three of the Shades of Magic trilogy
4.5/5
Fantasy (background m/f and m/m) - physical novel

When Holland, White London’s Antari, was cast into the dead world of Black London, it was meant to be the final moments of his life. Against all expectations, he survived, accepting the lingering spirit of Black London’s king, a piece of conscious magic, into himself. Returning to White London, the Black London king, Osaron, helps to reawaken White London’s long-dormant magic… but Osaron wants more. Holland offers Osaron access to Kell as a potential new host, and by extension, Kell’s home of Red London, a world much richer in magic.
Despite being denied a willing host, Osaron spreads his influence over Red London. He does not simply want to be a king; he wants to be a god. Exerting his will over the population, many give in to his influence, while most who resist are immediately killed, burned up by Osaron’s power. Only a few have the strength to fight off his hold, and they won’t be spared once Osaron takes control of the world.
The three Antari—Kell, Lila, and Holland—embark on a dangerous quest to find a piece of forbidden magic that they hope will allow them to fight Osaron. They know that if Osaron succeeds in becoming god of this new world, his rampant magic will destroy it, the same way it destroyed Black London.

My thoughts, some spoilers:

Back when I first read this book (years ago), I remember it being an easy 5/5, and what I considered the gold standard for a book three of a trilogy. I was a little disappointed that it didn’t hit quite as hard as I remember, but it was still very, very good.

The stakes have definitely returned to feeling real and important, and an escalation from the already high stakes of book one. (Book two falls very flat for me because the stakes are just not there.) The stakes here feel extreme, and they stay that way. It causes tragedy, as so many truly heroic attempts to fight… fail. There is a lot of tragedy in this book, specifically of the “storyline cut short” kind; characters that wind up never getting the closure they deserved.

I love Holland as a character. He is one who gets a #tragic backstory to sell him as why he is who he is, but it’s one that works for me, and having that context for his character makes me appreciate him. The end for him breaks my heart, but also in a good way.

One kind of small thing that I really appreciate: Lila gets called out for being a fucking hypocrite. One of the things that bothers me most about her as a character is that she is (rightfully!) hurt and enraged that one of the few people she cared for was murdered (by Holland!). However, she has zero problem killing other people, or putting them into situations where they are likely to die, sometimes for fairly petty reasons, or just to make things easier for herself. (She locked some rando up on a ship heading to a prison colony because she wanted to impersonate him to enter a competition!) She (and I felt like sometimes the narrative itself) treat this as her being “strong,” but I found it extremely frustrating, and I like that she gets called out on it. I don’t hate her as a character, but that particular aspect bothered me so much.

I like Alucard and Rhy. Alucard also gets a lot of #tragic past details to explain why he’s in the situation that he is, and it does make me terribly sad for him. At the same time, it honestly bothers me a little bit the lengths that Alucard has to go to in order to prove what happened… Trading for rare and highly-prized magic to prove that he was actually kidnapped and brutalized to force him away from Rhy, as opposed to just carelessly running off and breaking his heart? It was enough that he went through it, but to have to go to extreme lengths to prove his “innocence” felt extremely unfair. (Though I also understand the appeal of having some objective Thing that can prove the truth of an event.)

I do love the climactic final battle.

It is still an excellent book three to a trilogy; there are a lot of little details that were seeded earlier on that now have payoff (Lila’s map to nowhere! The setup for Black London!) It’s a great conclusion to the story.

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher
Book one of Sworn Soldier
5/5
Horror (subgenres: gothic, body horror, possession, mycological) - ebook novella - read with Taylor

Alex Easton, a 'sworn soldier,' hasn't spoken to kan* friends, the Ushers, in years. When Alex receives a letter from Roderick, expressing his fears about his twin sister Madeline's failing health, Alex comes to visit them. The Usher family house is in a terrible state of decay, and so are the twins. As Alex spends more time on the estate, ka sees even more without explanation: strange lights in the tarn by the house, hares that behave and move in bizarre ways, Madeline's odd behavior and speech during bouts of sleepwalking... Alex fears there may be something more at play than any of them understand.

*Alex's native language has many sets of pronouns, including ka/kan, which is a set of pronouns used solely for soldiers, which supersede any gendered pronouns they might have used prior, and which some, like Alex, continue to use.

My thoughts, minor spoilers:

I just read this one a couple months ago, but liked it really well and thought Taylor might, too. (They did!) It was also a quick read for us.

Like I said last time, this is a retelling/reimagining of Poe’s “The Fall of the House of Usher,” creating an explanation for the events of the original story. I think that it worked really well!

I love the setting, and how well it leans on the creepy descriptions and imagery of the house and the surrounding estate. The explanation chosen suits the story very well, I think.

I also mentioned it the first time, but I really like the whole pronoun explanation that Alex gives. It makes sense to explain kan pronouns, and serves as some nice worldbuilding flavor about the fictional history of Alex’s nationality and language… but then also comes back again later in the story when the child-exclusive va/van pronouns get used. It’s very creepy when it does come up, ha.
I really like and admire from a craft perspective when a detail serves an immediate purpose and does groundwork for something in the future.
(It happens again with a minor detail where Alex feeds kan horse an apple, mentioning the orchards ka passed through on the trip to the estate, and later it matters that there are apple orchards nearby. It makes it so the presence of the orchards doesn’t feel like an ass-pull for the resolution, but also never felt heavy-handed about drawing attention to their presence. It’s good writing that I appreciate.)

I do now have a physical copy of this book and the next two, gifted to me for Christmas, and I look forward to reading them, hopefully soon!

Mary by Nat Cassidy
4/5
Horror (subgenres: body horror, cult, serial killer, possession) - ebook novel

About to turn 50, Mary’s quiet, predictable life is suddenly upended. She loses her job, the rent on her apartment is set to drastically increase… and then she hears from her last remaining family member, her estranged, abrasive Aunt Nadine, who suddenly wants Mary to come out to Arizona and help care for her.
She decides she will go to take care of Nadine, and she packs up her “Loved Ones”—collectable china figures that are the closest things to real friends that she has—and heads to Arizona.
Mary is struggling with the onset of menopause, and while she’s assured that everything she’s experiencing is perfectly normal, she’s not certain that’s the case. She finds herself unable to look at other women around her same age, or even her own reflection, hallucinating horrific things when she does. She has frequent dreams about being within the walls of a mansion in the Arizona town she moves to. She starts to see what she comes to believe are the ghosts of murdered women.
Her dreams, the ghosts, and everything else start to seem like they may be tied to a famous serial killer from the town’s past, but the town itself seems to be harboring some dark secret that Mary doesn’t know how to unravel. Perhaps there’s a darkness that Mary herself is harboring, too.

My thoughts, some spoilers and content warnings:

I was genuinely surprised that this was written by a man, haha. It deals really heavily with themes of aging creating invisibility, especially for women, and being dismissed or ignored, particularly by authority figures and those we’re supposed to turn to for help. (The author himself mentions it in his afterword, asking if as a cis dude he ‘should’ have told this story. I fall on the side of ‘yes, because he did it well.’)

A handful of content warnings: There is a lot of body horror in this, and quite a lot of gore. Some of the violence is sexual in nature, but most of that is off-page or only threatened. A couple dogs are killed. There is a ton of misogyny, both external, from individual and societal sources, and internalized, and it is very much an aspect of the horror.

While I am not yet staring down 50, I am sliding toward 40, and I already find quite a bit of those themes of invisibility familiar. I thought that the themes were handled really well, and there were a couple different lines that really stuck out to me:

“Abuse is its own kind of reincarnation, isn’t it? We become the ones who made us.”
“Nothing feels safer than when someone else is the victim; especially when the next victim could always be you.”
“‘Darling. If there’s one thing the world teaches someone like me,’ I tell him, ‘it’s how to hurt myself.’”

(I should get some of the little sticky flags that I can use to highlight lines in physical books; being able to easily highlight lines I like in ebooks is one of the things I’ve found I enjoy as I try to get better at reading them.)

I enjoyed the fairly constant tension within Mary about being A Good Girl (and the fucking Loved Ones… which I assume are basically Precious Moments figures), vs the extremely violent impulses that she’s repressing. I like what the explanation ends up being… and then that it pivots again to something new. (The book does that in a few different ways, where an initial assumption is revealed to actually be a different thing… and then that different thing is also subverted or changed to something else.) I appreciated that those “third” reveals never felt like they were undoing the initial “twist,” just adding something new; I loathe when something has twists piled on that render previous surprises moot.

I always like creepy small-town cults.

The book had one particular maybe-easy-to-miss line that was a really good… idk, subversion of expectation/foreshadowing/wham line. It IS a minor spoiler, though, so… don’t read the next bit if you don’t want it, or think you want to read the book and get to that line blind.

The sections start with quotes: lines from The Awakening by Kate Chopin (which, incidentally, I read in AP classes in high school and barely remember, except that it was the ONLY book that I got especially good scores on my essays about), and lines from a fictional memoir of an FBI officer talking about a case he investigated in this town.
We’re set up to know from the beginning that there was a serial killer who committed his crimes in the town, and it seems obvious that this is what the FBI agent is referring to when talking about his investigation… until he says something about “how the town treated its (previously) most famous monster” in reference to that serial killer, and that was such a good, sudden OH SHIT moment for me when reading. I already expected that something big and terrible was going to happen in this horror novel, obviously, but that hung a blinking neon sign on the fact that the worst was yet to come, and I love that kind of thing. (That type of “oh shit, there is something bad coming” works for me way better than say, the “foreshadowing” in Duma Key, where the narrator kept telling us ahead of time who was going to die.)

I’d definitely read more by this author.

Silver and Lead by Seanan McGuire
Book 19 of October Daye
Urban fantasy (m/f) - physical novel - read with Taylor
3.5/5

Now returned to the real world, after months spent in Titania's false version of faerie, October and her extensive adopted family are getting back to what passes for normal. For October, that includes being eight months pregnant, and her husband not wanting her to do anything that could put her or their unborn child's life at risk. Toby is ready to start climbing the walls, when Arden, the local Queen, comes to her with a request. During Titania's enchantment, a distressing number of magical items were stolen from the palace's treasury, and some of them are now being used to harm some of the kingdom's citizens. Arden needs a hero of the realm to find the culprit and retrieve these objects... and Toby is it. "Hero" doesn't come with maternity leave. Of course, the plot thickens, and it becomes clear that this is a trap that may have been set for Toby, specifically.

My thoughts, mild spoilers:

I gave this a 4/5 the first time I reviewed it, and later revised it to a 3.5/5. I’m honestly still a little torn between the two, having just reread it… I enjoyed the whole book, and it does a lot of fun things. Rereading it with Taylor it went really quickly.

However, there is one bit that felt like Toby was just being oblivious for no reason… I picked up immediately on a character being present, the narrative hangs a giant red flag on the fact that this character (who was supposed to be imprisoned) has escaped and therefore *could* in fact be present… and then she’s surprised when he shows up. Her thinking “I should have expected that!” just makes it more obvious that… yes. Yes, Toby, you should have. You’re supposed to be a detective, you’re supposed to be doing an investigation, what do you MEAN you did not pick up on this guy being there? That bit bothered me enough that it knocked down my rating, because I so deeply hate characters being oblivious for what feels solely like plot contrivance… but I can’t tell if I’m being unfair. (Taylor thought it was equally obvious, to be fair.)

I am glad that Toby got to push back against the ways in which her husband and her family were being overprotective.
I am glad that we’re done with the pregnancy. I hate-hate-hate pregnancy, so while I’m happy for Tybalt and Toby, because they would and do want kids, and Toby likes and wants to be a mother… I really hate pregnancy.
I loved some of the character interactions. The Luidaeg is always my fave. The bits with Marcia (in the main novel and between her and Simon in the novella) were UTTER DELIGHTS to me. For reasons.
Dammit, Janet!

Feeling the Heat: Part Two by Emily Antoinette
M/M/M/F Romance (subgenres: contemporary, omegaverse) - ebook novel
3.5/5

Having been outed as an omega and being fired from her job because of it, Camille blames River for revealing her status. Camille withdraws from both Ambrose and Jackson as well, wanting nothing to do with the pack any longer. Worse, the “alpha rights” movement has made her their poster child, using her as an example of omegas being deceptive in the workplace, and mocking her “old omega” status.
In reality, River had nothing to do with Camille’s status being revealed, and he believes her anger at him is because he bonded to her. Out of guilt, he also withdraws from his pack, going so far as moving out.
When Ambrose and Jackson discover that Camille is being targeted for harassment, they can’t stand the idea of her having to face it alone. They also can’t stand River being gone, particularly when the issues between him and Camille are a misunderstanding… It’s going to be a difficult journey to rebuild trust between them all, but they all believe it could be worth the struggle.

My thoughts, some spoilers:

Unfortunately, this book leaned even harder on the mdom/fsub stuff than the previous book did, and that still icks me out. There’s a lot of “Camille’s omega craving submission” stuff that is just a squick for me, alas. It’s not terrible (STILL LOOKING AT YOU, WINTER’S LIST), and I appreciate how into it all the characters genuinely seem, it’s just so completely not appealing to me. Like… good for her, and good for the dudes, but personally: bleh.

I actually found myself more interested in the not-sex plot threads, haha. Camille’s new job at an omega-run company, Camille’s lawsuit against her previous employer, and her being a victim of stalking by two different alpha’s rights types (deliberate analogues to MRAs.)
I’m a little disappointed that the stalking plot was as incidental as it was… there was some buildup of it at the end of book one, where it’s obvious that an ex-coworker and her brother-in-law are conspiring to do something to her. There are some bits of it that show up throughout the book, with one other random guy following her once, and her *thinking* she sees the ex-coworker and her BIL, but because she brushes it off every time, up until the climax of that subplot, it never really felt like a lot of tension. I know that IS the B-plot, and the A-plot is her relationship with the pack, but I wanted more of a thriller vibe, I guess, haha.

I was frustrated at the end of part one because the stuff between Camille and River hinged on a misunderstanding, and could have been solved with a conversation. This time… we solve it with a conversation, lol. (It’s a bit more than that, but basically, everyone talks their feelings out… a lot.) It’s not bad, but just kind of made the initial misunderstanding feel even sillier, because it was so easily fixed.

Overall, the whole thing is very… healthy. River’s time away from his pack is spent getting therapy. The rest of the time is him talking about how he’s going to therapy and trying to be better. That’s not a bad thing, but after a while it started to feel repetitive. I was also getting really sick of how much groveling he was having to do at the beginning of the book. Eventually he and Camille have a conversation where she says that he gets to apologize once more, and then she’ll apologize, and then they have to move on… which is great, but I JUST SPENT 40% OF THE BOOK WITH HIM GROVELING. Could you have had this conversation a hundred pages ago?

I did genuinely like how every branch of the relationship got to and had to figure out their own relationships individually as well as part of the group. That’s something this author does really well and that I really appreciate. I like Jackson figuring out his feelings for River and Ambrose. I like Camille getting different relationships with each of them. I appreciate that I like every pair within the group, not just the group as a whole. This is by far my preference for poly romance, and I like that this isn’t just focused on Camille, but on the other relationships between the pack members as well.

The Fragile Threads of Power by V.E. Schwab
Book one of Threads of Power, a sequel to the Shades of Magic trilogy
Fantasy (background m/f and m/m/f) - physical novel
4.5/5

THIS SUMMARY CONTAINS SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR THE SHADES OF MAGIC TRILOGY.

Seven years after the battle for Red London against Osaron, the world has mostly returned to normal, though scars remain. Lila has become captain of her own ship, which she sails under the auspices of the crown. Kell travels with her, still unable to use his now-shattered magic without debilitating pain. Rhy has taken his place on the throne, with his lover, Alucard, and his new wife, Nadiya, by his side.
A quiet rebellion has started underground; an organization called The Hand. There is a rumor that magic is disappearing from the world, with fewer children being born with magical gifts. They blame Rhy, the magic-less king, for this, and believe that killing him will restore magic to the world.
When The Hand steals a magical object from the supposedly theft-proof Ferase Stras market, the market proprietor calls in a favor from Lila to find the thief and retrieve the item. Lila needs to succeed, and not only because of the favor she owes; the object could help The Hand in their attempt to assassinate Rhy.
Dragged into this brewing conflict is Tes, a young girl who has set herself up as a tinker, able to repair any broken thing. She has a unique magical gift: the ability not only to see the threads of power that make up all magical things, but the ability to manipulate those threads. Her power is rare… and potentially dangerous.
Meanwhile, a young girl named Kosika has become the new queen of White London, leading its people in a veneration of Holland as a saint, and tithes of blood to sustain their world.

My thoughts, some spoilers:

I am glad that I reread the Shades of Magic trilogy before reading this one, though I think it could stand reasonably well on its own.

I very much liked it!

The awesome things:
I love so many of the new characters. I love Tes. Her ability is so fascinating, and how she uses it is super cool. I really like Nadiya, the new queen, and her interest in magical invention. Kosika is really interesting and I do find her compelling.
Hell yeah, unexpected poly rep? Rhy and Alucard are together, but Rhy had to marry in order to have an heir. I genuinely like Nadiya, who really likes both of them, but seems to be asexual, and just also wanted a child and a chance to focus on her own interests.
There’s some good foreshadowing. I called one of the Hand members’ identities… but I’m kind of pissed about it, and reeeeeally want to see where that’s going.
I’m also fairly certain that I know who Nero is. He’s kind of a minor character, but his identity has been pretty heavily hinted at, while also being pretty subtle. I hope I’m right.
When [REDACTED] shows up!
The different plot threads (ha! like the title!) come together in ways that I found satisfying.
Lots of this feels like it’s building up to more, while also being satisfying in this book, rather than just seeming like groundwork.

The couple things that were less great, but pretty minor:
This started really slow for me. The beginning jumps between a LOT of perspectives as it introduces new characters, and felt a little disjointed. It coalesces better after that first chunk, and I can’t say that any of the perspectives didn’t deserve to be there… it was just a slightly rough start.
I feel like we got one medium-sized worldbuilding retcon. It’s stated now that the ruling family of Arnes is only allowed to have one heir. Not just named heir, but only one child at all, in order to make sure that the ruling family can’t amass too much power over the other families. This means Rhy was it, so his parents *couldn’t* have another heir who would potentially have had magic, and his daughter is the only heir they will have now. But his mother angsted in A Conjuring of Light about not having been willing to have another child; not because it wouldn’t have been allowed, but because she was so petrified of something bad happening to her child, and she couldn’t handle the fear and anxiety again. It would have been an easy out for her had only one heir been allowed, while instead it was something she seemed to feel slightly ashamed of.
There were a few repetitive descriptions. One of them I’m giving a pass to, because I think it turns out that drawing repeated attention to that detail was deliberate foreshadowing/hinting. But there were a couple other bits where the same turn of phrase or description was used multiple times within just a page or two, which I think should have been tweaked. (“[I] have to give him that” and description of something as “like drops of ink” are the two things I’m thinking of.)

Neutral things:
A thing that is a bit both good and bad: characters hating each other. This was a thing in the previous trilogy, where Kell and Alucard fucking hate each other (and still do.) Now there’s also Lila, who super duper hates Nadiya, and Kell who doesn’t like the new priest… At times it’s good, because yeah, different people get along with others differently, and it’s realistic to not have everyone just be all-in and best friends. On the other… sometimes it feels unearned? Like, I get why Tes didn’t like Lila or Nadiya, because she very specifically does not want to be used for her gift, and she knows that’s what they want from her. It sucks to have characters that I like and understand being at odds with each other, but there I understood! Lila hating Nadiya to the point of wanting to kill her… eh. I get Lila being pissed at her, but I would think she could recognize the fact that Nadiya’s driving motivation is very similar to Lila’s - single-minded focus on doing anything and everything to protect a loved one. I just don’t buy that depth of hatred and animosity, even from Lila (who tends to be too black-and-white in her attitude.)

Also mixed good and bad: it’s been a few years, and we still don’t know when book two will come out. The author recently said something to the effect of “are you ready for the next book? I’m not. And you are not ready for the next book.” I’m kind of dreading just… bad things happening to people that I don’t want bad things to happen to, haha. It’s good for the stakes to be real, it’s good that I’ve been made to care… but I have the feeling it’s going to be upsetting.

Currently I am reading two books:
Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin, the final humble bundle horror book, my primary read
The Sun Dog by Stephen King, reading with Alex

Taylor and I will probably start another book the next time we get together.
I also need to pick another side-read ebook. Right now I’m leaning toward Trade Secrets by Beth Ryan, though I don’t know if it falls in the “brain candy” category. It’s just one that I’ve had an ebook of for years and years, and I remember having a couple nice conversations with the author before losing track of her.

I’m eying my TBR with serious trepidation, but I’m hoping next year will be a good one for reading.

This week, to be festive, some bits cut out of one of my favorite wrapping papers that we currently have.

This was a lovely week. Christmas itself was nice and mellow, which is how I like it. The days leading up to the holiday were busy, especially with baking and such, but I did manage to get almost everything I'd hoped to done. (We'll see how I feel in the run up to New Years.) It was nice to spend time with my mom and Taylor, time with Alex, making food, getting some chore things done... The time after Christmas up until the end of the year is always a weird sort of limbo, and the latter part of this week definitely had that vibe already.

Goals for the week:

• I read more, but did not finish The Fragile Threads of Power
• Since I didn't finish that, I did not start Manhunt
• Christmas happened!
• I did visit mom and Taylor on Christmas Eve into Christmas Day
• I baked my yule log cookies
• I baked my kolaches
• I made my truffles
• I watered my plants
• We went and did a very large load of laundry (overdue blanket load!)
• I put my laundry away
• I did finally get caught up on DW
• I didn't check it off, but I did work on my reviews for the month
• I didn't work on my reading page
• I did go get crickets and fruit flies
• I got stocking stuff for Alex

Tracked habits:

• Work - 3.5/7 - we were closed on Christmas, and had a half-day on Christmas Eve
• Household Maintenance - 6/7
• Physical Activity - 4/7
• Wrote 500/1000+ Words - 0/7
• Wrote on 2nd+ Draft - 0/7
• Meta Work - 6/7
• Personal Writing - 4/7
• Other Creative Things - 4/7
• Reading - 7/7 - I read quite a bit of The Fragile Threads of Power and some of my ebook; Alex and I read some of The Sun Dog; Taylor and I finished Silver and Lead
• Attention to Media - 6/7 - Sunday we watched the Ravens game (did not go well), and some reviews; Monday watched a review; Tuesday I listened to music and watched a review; Thursday we had some background youtube and later watched Christams Twister [sic]; Friday had background storm chasing and later reviews; Saturday we watched another Ravens game (which went much better) and then more reviews.
• Video Games - 0/7
• Social Interaction - 6/7

Total words written: 0

For the last couple years, I've shared my favorite pictures taken for the year. Here are my top fifteen for 2025!

As usual, it's pretty clear what my favorite subject matter is, haha.

January 07, at home:


Cy and Bella cuddling.

It was a little rare for them to cuddle together for long, and getting a picture of them doing so seemed to be even harder. I miss him so much, still.

Thirteen more pictures, chronological through the year:

June 03, at the Denver Botanic Gardens:


Rainwater in the center of a poppy.

We'd set up a plan to go to the Botanic Gardens for my mom's birthday, and when the day came, it was chilly and rained. Initially we were a bit disappointed, but it turned out to be absolutely perfect. The clouds made for perfect photo lighting, and it had been such a soft rain, the raindrops clinging to everything were beautiful. (There were a couple pictures of roses covered in beads of rain that I almost picked instead, but I just really liked this one.)

July 06, at Roxborough State Park:


A bumblebee on a bee balm flower.

These bumblebees were ENORMOUS.

July 08, at Hudson Gardens:


A bullfrog.

This bullfrog was huge and so very chill about us taking his picture.

July 14, at Lair o' the Bear Open Space Park:


It's Bella!

This is one of my favorite pictures that I've taken of Bella. She just has such soft eyes, ha.


A pygmy nuthatch.

From that same hike, a surprisingly cooperative little bird!

July 21, at Castlewood Canyon State Park:


A hummingbird nest.

I was so beyond charmed to see this tiny nest! The lichens and seed fluff and spiderwebs making up the construction is just so perfect.

July 29, at Centennial Cone Open Space Park:


A view from pretty way up.

This park is pretty way up in the mountains. We hadn't been before (and of course ended up going on the day that the *one* tiny thunderstorm that spawned over the mountains picked this exact spot, haha.)


A lizard!

I loved this guy's very vibrant markings! On a sunnier day, I'm sure they actually help him blend in extremely well with darker plant shadows.

August 26, Greenbelt:


Bumblebee!

Much, much smaller than the giant bumblebee from before. I do love their little orange belt.

September 02, Castlewood Canyon State Park:


A fawn!

I was delighted that this fawn still had some spots!

September 08, Alexx & Michael's Pond:


Pelicans!

Alex and I went up to this random neighborhood park to catch sight of an avian oddity: a wood stork! (Perfectly common in some places, but not in Colorado!) We did spot the stork, which was very cool, but the pelicans were also stars of the day, haha. There were SO MANY!

October 14, Greenbelt:


Fall colors.

We were graced with an extremely beautiful fall, and the colors were gorgeous! The gold against the intensely blue sky was especially striking.

November 04, Red Rocks:


It's Bella!

Bella loves rock climbing, and I was very pleased with this picture of her so dramatically backlit!

November 11, the north plains:


The Northern Lights!

We had another chance to go see auroras this year (having seen them for the first time last year.) They were spectacular! It was amazing to see them, and while they were not as intense to the naked eye as it was on camera, the color was visible. It was so, so cool to get to go up and see them, and I'm so glad we did.

-

Obviously I take a lot of pictures of flowers and bees and birds and my dog, haha.